ADHD: The Start of Something
Well, hello there...
My name is Deanna, but people call me Dea. My business is called Vitamin Dea, and my brain is referred to as ADH-Dea ;). For a year now, I have realized something was funky with my brain. (At first I typed "wrong," but I want you [and me] to know, it is not wrong, it's different).
I started listening to podcasts about women and adults with ADHD. This is what helped me realize that I am neurodivergent... pretty dope, eh? Kinda like Shailene Woodley in the Divergent books/movies. I am so special!
I suppose these things I do are abnormal - Getting up every 20 minutes while working, having little piles of "organized chaos" everywhere (and I mean everywhere), struggling to keep things clean, being 5 mins late for everything, forgetting everything unless I write it down, starting 100 projects, but failing to finish them, excessively putting off any job that is tedious/boring, and feeling stressed when I have to stay seated too long.
I used to convinced myself that this was because I was lazy, unmotivated and unorganized. Though I KNEW this was not true, because when it came to creative tasks and dreaming, I was all over it.
Here's a cool example of how this symptoms can show up in my life. I will be writing a blog post like this one right here, and mid-go, I will start writing an email, answer a phone call, and end up changing the laundry... Forgetting what I was even doing in the first place.
This gets overwhelming as a business owner. Once I saw it, it is been impossible to unsee it. Since I am dependant on my own brain to get things done, it is important that I... well, get things done. And, without deadlines, I struggle immensely. I do better with a timeline, and plan that can be slightly flexible (and always have).
It's all honestly, very eye-opening.
What a great thing to get to know myself so deeply, and reflect back on my (very chatty) childhood.
So, once I accepted this part of me, I started to look into ways to help. I was VERRRRYYYYYY hesitant to try medication. As someone who is very holistic in most things in life, I worry about pharmaceuticals and their impact on me. Especially after having a tough experience coming off birth control. You can read that blog, here.
I began to ask friends who have gone on, and come off different medications - Adderall, Concerta, and Vyvanse. How did it impact them? Did it make a difference? What were their side effects? How long did it take to work/get used to? Etc.
I started listening to podcasts, talking to my therapist (who also has ADHD), and journalling my thoughts on the situation. Pretty thorough for someone with impulse issues, eh (another symptom)? ;)
After all of this, I decided it was best for me to try a medication. I figured... I can come off after 1 day... I can control my dose... and I am in charge of my health (no one else).
So today, I took my first little pink pill. At least, I think it was pink. As I go to look for it to verify, I already don't know where I put the bottle... lol. Ironic, asking someone with ADHD to not lose their meds AND remember to take one everyday! Shit.
And here we are - Day 1.
So far, I feel ok. My workout this morning felt a bit rough. My heart-rate was very high even when I wasn't trying too hard. This can also be because I am days away from my period, and I was doing a conditioning workout. It is something to keep my eye on though, as this medication is a stimulant. I also started cleaning my house when I got home, which is rare haha. I had to force myself to stop, so I could go to a cafe and work.
Overall, so far, so good. My appetite seems pretty normal. It may be a BIIIIIIT diminished, but I am someone who is always hungry, so I still feel those symptoms/reminders to eat at this dose. In fact, I am going to eat after I post this, because my tummy is starting to growl thinking about it.
I want to keep this blog up-to-date on how I am feeling for 2 reasons:
To keep track of my symptoms
To help those who are experiencing similar things
However, it's a new project, so we will see if I can commit to it, heheh.
Let's have a very open, honest conversation about medication, symptoms, and more. This is. a judgement free zone.
If you gotten this far, and want to chat about this, my DM's are always open. You can also email me at info@vitamindea.ca.
To clarify, this is not intended as medical advice. Before you self-diagnose based on my symptoms, please consult your family physician.
Here goes something!! I'll keep you posted. (ADH) Dea