I am Leaving The Love of My Life (Coaching)
I am leaving coaching… kinda.
In one capacity. For now… and let me tell you why.
Tomorrow is my last shift coaching fitness for a while.
It took me 8 months of knowing it's the right thing to do, to actually pull the trigger.
Coaching the past 4.5 years has shaped who I am today. It is the reason I am such a good business owner and coach/nutritionist for Vitamin Dea.
I never thought I even wanted to BE a fitness coach. I was just really into the CrossFit community, and was bored in Australia, so I took my Level 1, to learn more about it. Things aligned perfectly to start my coaching journey in London, Ontario, while training to be a Holistic Nutritionist.
The group at Hybrid Fitness was so electric, I was hooked!! After 1.5 years though, Covid had other plans. And hey, maybe you could say the universe did too. Because, then Alchemy came along.
Coaching at Alchemy reconnected me with so many old friends, and introduced me to many new ones (hi friends)! I have only positives to say about my experience there. I love them all with all my heart. It is by far the most relaxing place to work.
And that's what made it hard (stay tuned for the quote at the end).
That's why it took me 8 months to say how I was really feeling - which was I was becoming burnt out.
And, until a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't admit I was burnt out. I thought “ok, I do have 3 jobs (with serving too), but I have lots of free time. So, how could I be burnt out?" I also just went on vacation!
Through lots of deep conversations, I realized that all of my jobs are FULL ENERGY. All of these jobs require me to be fully “on” at all times. Sometimes physically, but always mentally and psychologically. So, I would load myself with caffeine to be there for other people. Which lead to an absolute crash and burn when I was alone.
And don't get me wrong. I don't regret it for one second. Being there for other people is one of my core values. However, I also needed and wanted to be there for myself.
Once I discovered that I was no longer making social plans and wanting to work on creating new things for my business, I knew it was time. Because, this was NOT LIKE ME.
So, with that, I had the conversation I put off for almost a year. And it went better than I could ever imagine. My boss fully understood, and was supportive of my needs.
I cried for basically a week and grieved closing a chapter of my life that was so, so formative.
I am rebuilding my energy. I am taking care of myself. I am cleaning up my house/environment to serve me. I am taking a much needed rest.
Of course, I still feel some guilt and financial pressure. And I also know it will all work out. Because it always does.
One chapter of my life may be over, but I have a whole damn book to write!
And, I can still “guest-coach” when my friends need a break. Because, we all need a break sometimes.
It's how I felt at the end of my dance career, and at the end of university. It's ok to grieve it. And also, I can still dance!
So, I hope this message and bravery inspires you to follow your gut instincts. I hope you take the road that feels right AND scares you a little.
I hope you listen to your intuition.
If you are scared, I get it. Ask yourself if your anxiety around the situation is also excitement. That alone should answer your deeper questions. Will you feel relieved once you get past the processing stage?
It's like a breakup (I am assuming, lol). Sometimes you innately know it is the right step to take for yourself, and that doesn't make it any easier to say good-bye to a part of your life, and people that shaped you so deeply. If you know it is the right step, you must take that leap.
I will leave you with a quote I heard the other day from Kristin Newman, from What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding, and it hit me at just the right time and it is: “Life is almost never about choosing between one thing you really want and another thing you don't want at all. If you're lucky, and healthy, and live in a country where you have enough to eat and no fear that you're going to get shot when you walk out your door, life is an endless series of choosing between two things you want almost equally. And you have to evaluate and determine which awesome thing you want infinitesimally more, and then give up that other awesome thing you want almost exactly as much. You have to trade awesome for awesome. Everyone I knew, no matter what they chose, was at least a little in mourning for that other thing.”
So with that, it's time to go all-in on my business. 2.5 years later, and I am ready to dive deep into my alignment and passions (after a few more days of recovery).
Please follow along for the ride!!
Here's to more energy, creativity, and flow-state vibes. Thank you for being here <3.
You are the reason I do what I do.