The other day, I overheard a man asking why women go into the washroom together, especially while out indulging in some alcoholic beverages.
I am here to say that peeing is only a small part of the process. There is so much more.
First, we discuss what cute person we are eyeing up or talking to that night. This usually happens while we are in the stalls beside each other. However, if there aren’t two stalls, we somehow both squeeze into one. Actually, this is normally how it happens, even if there is another stall open. It just is, okay? It isn’t awkward, and I am not sure why, but ladies, you feel me, right?
Next, we wash our hands while looking in the mirror. We usually say something like, “holy sh*t, I look like a hot mess,” or “damn we look good.” As this happens, we either admire other groups of girls, or they compliment us on our shade of lipstick, outfit, jewelry, or hair. That conversation without a doubt starts, “Oh my gosh girl, I love your…”
I shouldn’t be saying this right now. I feel like I am exposing the secrets that happen behind closed doors. Is this violating “the girl code?” Well, I am almost all the way through, so I might as well finish.
Ultimately, we look at each other, get a fresh piece of gum, fix each other’s lipstick, and make sure we don’t have toilet paper on our shoes. This happens more than anyone would like to admit. And don’t tell anyone, but sometimes before we leave, we take an embarrassing selfie. I hope these selfies never see the light of day on social media. But, to be fair, it’s more embarrassing to take a selfie in the middle of the bar, where everyone can see you.
Oh, and I almost forgot one thing; if the line to the women’s bathroom is too long, I will use the men’s washroom if I have a ‘sister friend’ to back me up. I get some weird looks, but honestly dude, it’s 2017, and I will pee where I please. The line for the men’s washroom is ALWAYS shorter. Maybe that’s because men generally don’t do all of the aforementioned activities in the bathroom. Maybe it’s our fault that our line is always so long. How am I just seeing this now for the first time?
I wish I could reconnect with all the drunk girls I’ve met in public bathrooms. They are always the nicest. If you ever need a little confidence boost, this is one place you can find it. Thanks for all the good times gals. You are all hot!
*DISCLAIMER* I know these are generalizations, so before you comment… I get it!