I often hear from people that "social media makes them anxious."
Or feel like shit about themselves.... Or that it decreases their confidence and happiness.
Now, don't get me wrong. I totally see how that can happen, and it has happened to me on many occasions. I am not above this by any means. However, I want to share some tips that have my clients and I get past this, or at least improve this.
So, without further ado, here we go:
Unfollow the shit peeps (aka the ones that make you feel like shit)
Seems simple, eh? But, have you done it? Have you done it recently? EXACTLY. Go through that whole list and unfollow people. It feels like a cleanse - without the whole starving and hangry part. From there, periodically, as posts come up that irritate you, unfollow those people. Rip it off like a band-aid. Remember, you are doing this as a tool for YOU. So make it work for you.
Now, I get it that there are some people who have it set up to show them that you unfollowed, but to me, those ain't my people anyways (enough said). This brings me to my next point.
2. Tell them to shut up! (aka mute some others) If unfollowing them doesn't seem like an option. That's rad - no problem. You can mute them too. They do not see this, and you won't see their posts, unless you go looking for them. We all have those people ;). And hey, there ain't no mute button in real life, so might as well use it while you can!
3. Be an intentional, mindful betch (aka go in with purpose)
I will be straight up, I could use some improvement in this department. I am mindful about most things in my life - from food, to boundaries, to movement, etc.: However, I do have a sliiiight obsession with checking social media 100x/day. (I wish this was an exaggeration). I would recommend what I have done in the past, which is checking it at intentional times throughout the day and/or going on to post, or with a timer running, and logging off. At first, I found deleting the apps from my phone, so I would have to re-download them helpful, but after a while, it wore off (oopsies). That being said... stay with me....
4. Limit yourself (but only in this way)
I set up a social media limit/day on my iPhone. You can do this in settings. This helps a lot of the time... until I get into the habit of pressing "ignore" 10x. I will say though, it does make me double think it while I sit on the toilet, and click Instagram out of habit, for the 19th time today. It also really helps when the limit runs out by nighttime, because then it is a good nudge to go to bed, and to stop talking to men on Snapchat and in my DM's lol. They can ask for my damn number like a normal person. What is with that anyways? GAH.
5. Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me (but not on social, because I won't see it right away)
Turn off those notifications. MY GOD was this ever helpful for me. The little dopamine rush as a like, DM, or comment came through was surreal. Now, for someone with ADHD, this is even more important to note, because we naturally chase a dopamine high. Once I turned off my notifications for Instagram, I was able to focus on my work so much better, because I wasn't constantly getting pulled onto the app, and getting trapped there into a spiral for 15 minutes at a time. When this happens, I end up on other apps (the rotation), and forget what I was even doing in the first place.
Now, I keep Instagram open on my laptop during the day, so if I am having a conversation with someone on there, I am not grabbing my phone every 5 seconds and getting distracted. Again, hey ADHD.
6. Shut the party dowwwwwn (aka take full-out breaks if/when needed)
Recently, I took a full month off Snapchat, because I realized I was seeking external validation from others. Whether that be through laughter at my funny videos, or commenting on my thirst traps...the idea is the same. You know what I mean, ya? I really liked this as a challenge, and highly recommend. I could for sure do this with Instagram in the future, but I love it so much right now. I know people have different addictions like Twitter, Facebook, Tiktok, etc. Pick one to start with. Cold turkey and all-or-nothing ain't my style.
7. Stalk the cool kids (aka follow peeps you like)
The reason I genuinely like Instagram right now is because I follow people I like following. This part is underrated. Yes, unfollow people you don't jive with. AND, also follow people you do jive with. Have a current obsession? Find other people who have that same one. Working on improving something? Find someone who talks about this at a high level. Heck, even send them a message, and get chatting. I love talking to people who are interested in my work! This is how social media can be a tool for you. So, use it! Plus, it is not encouraged to stalk, or even follow people IRL. You can't just follow them to the cool places they go, or into their well-decorated house. That's actually illegal, and you can get a restraining order... rude right?
8. Remember: they aren't that cool though (aka it is a highlight reel)
People say this all the time, I get it. However, I would be amiss if I didn't mention this point. So, yes, this shit is people's highlight reel. Yes, it's as basic as a Starbucks post, but it's sometimes hard to remember. So, if you want this to change, read the next point.
9 Create that real reel (aka be authentic)
If you want to follow people who are real, lead by example. Be fully yourself! Nothing creates connection like true vulnerability and realness. Now I must point out, there is most definitely a difference between manufactured vulnerability, and authenticity. It is pretty clear who is faking it for views and attention, and who is trying to bond with others. And if crying on social media ain't your vibe, I 100% get it. Can you show up instead with less filters and edits? Can you post the funny blooper? Can you post on the days that you aren't hair done, nails done, everything did? Can you post at an angle that isn't severely above your head, looking down, or with you contorted into strange shape, to make your body look "better"? Again... because it's important, think of how you want to see others, and then be a role model.
10. Check yo-self (aka ask yourself "why")
Lastly, before you login next time, ask yourself why you are logging on. Are you bored, lonely, looking for attention, or to connect? All of these are valid. The point is to be aware of the "why."
And hey, next time you are on there, give me a follow, and let me know what you thought of this post @vitamin.dea on all the things!
Ain't time for me to log off and go do a social media cleanse again. Damn, I even "influence" myself ;).